This weekend was full of life for us, house guests with a new baby visiting from across the country, our block's second (and final) block party of the year, friend's birthday parties, and then yesterday Jasper's long awaited follow-up visit with his ear doctor.
I don't like visiting doctors myself, I prefer "self healing" through diet, acupuncture, etc.. and until now I have not minded taking my kids to their fabulous pediatrician. Then last spring, after Jasper's 4th ear infection and a set of burst ear drums, our pediatrician suggested that we visit a pediatric ear specialist. This led us to yesterday, our follow-up visit, at which the specialist told us that Jasper needs tubes put in his ears to relieve the pressure that is building up, he suggested that we schedule the procedure as soon as possible for Friday. Three days from now.
No matter how many people, the doctor included, tell me that this is a minor and very common procedure, all I can keep thinking is, "My child is having surgery on Friday."
I'm keeping a very strong front for Jasper, he is showing no signs of concern or worry and I am being very careful not to show my own worry about this in front of him.
The strange thing is, I know why this is hitting me so hard....
I had tubes put in my ears when I was 5, and I remember it as a traumatic, scary experience, and probably the start of why I don't like going to doctors.
When I had children I did not realize all of the things that I would learn about myself through them, especially through this cyclical nature of life. For me, watching my children grow and change has often been like looking in a mirror. With this particular situation I see the redemptive opportunity in which I can help Jasper to have a better experience than I did, and hopefully to not have this be something that he will still be struggling with 30 years from now! That doesn't mean that I'll have an easy three days until the procedure but I am thankful that at least I did not have to dread this all summer long, and really after Friday, once the tubes are in, then his ears will be able to start healing.
And isn't healing what this is all about?